but that's nothing new

"I'm not good with words
but that's nothing new
still I have to try to explain
what I would do..."

That's honestly how I find myself feeling all too often. I know that words have never been my thing, and that's alright by me. Honestly! The great thing that I've discovered about it, is that it doesn't really matter what I have to say.

I hope you're not jumping to conclusions and thinking, "Geesh, Elisa, don't be so down on yourself-- yadda yadda..." Because let me stop you right there. I'm not down on myself, so stop your fussing. Plus, you haven't heard the second part yet, so hear me out.

I'm not down on myself because I know that I don't have the words to say to you, but Someone else does. All it takes is for me to be able to REALIZE and ADMIT that I'm not the one with any sort of solution to life, and let the real Man in charge take over things. Yep. A simple, "hey God, it's me, umm--- I know that if I let just myself speak, it's gonna be slop. and it's Your words I want to portray. It's Your vision I want to lay out. Mind taking over?" There are two surprises that come from this:
1. You'd be surprised how often I do this.
(not nearly enough, in my book, but it's over more things than you'd think)
2. You'd be surprised how easily He takes over.


All of this has been bustling in my head because I'm finally realizing how great it is to not have the words to speak. Not that I don't want to have words of wisdom, or comfort, or strength. But I don't want those things to come from a mere person when they can come from a mighty God who is speaking through me.

These past few weeks have felt like there's been something weighing things down. A drudging pace. Maybe lazy, maybe fearful, maybe just in need of Someone bigger to take over. I realized this as I tried to hold conversations and just felt everything in me dragging. I wanted to be so much more, so much light, joy, encouragement, compassion-- yet nothing spewed out, just blah.

I finally found myself desperate for it. Desperate for God. Desperate to explain things. Desperate to tell people just what He means to me. And my words fell short. I cried. I begged. I finally stopped holding on to the things I couldn't do and let God be in charge like He asks me every morning.

So my words for you this week? His.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
from violent men you save me.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The waves of death swirled about me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the LORD;
I called out to my God.

From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came to his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked,
the foundations of the heavens shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence
bolts of lightning blazed forth.

The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot arrows and scattered the enemies ,
bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at the rebuke of the LORD,
at the blast of breath from his nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

simply,
ME (& HIM)