you called, I answered

There are days when I really struggle with friendships. Sometimes I'm just a crappy friend. I don't answer calls, text back, respond to posts, I can't seem to muster up the strength to care. Which is hitting me as to how RIDICULOUS that is because I know it's a pain when you have a simple question and the people could care less as to respond. I need to work on my friendships.

When I was in Kentucky 9 months ago --p.s. I hate saying that. I constantly wish I could be there with my Lauren-- I got to hear one of the best sermons I could have heard in the last couple of years. It was about being authentic in our relationships. Obviously I needed to hear it-- did you not read the last paragraph?? I was totally half-assed with a lot of friends. And the saddest thing, is that they did nothing to deserve it. So I try my best to be more authentic.

One thing that I've come to realize (and am learning to buck it up and get over) is that authenticity is not always returned. There are times, when I am only going to receive half-assed responses, if any at all. But my job isn't to sulk and be pissy, my job is to remain authentic. See, I've always learned that as a Christian, there's really only two things to do:

1. Love God.
2. Love like God.

I kid you not, everything else will fall under those catergories. And if I'm supposed to love like Him, then I need to learn to realize that the world will not always love me, but that doesn't mean I stop loving it. As humans, this is probably one of our biggest struggles in life. But I also believe that God will be the one providing us with the backbone and strength to handle things.

I say all of this long winded-ness to tell you about my friend. She is amazing. And I am incredibily honored to have her in my life at all. I kid you not, when I see her name on ANYTHING, I pray for her. A text to tell me she's updated her blog, a status update on facebook, pictures her husband has tagged of her, road signs that lead to her hometown, walking past her old apartment.... I always take a moment to thank God for her and pray that she feels His love over her this moment.

See, about two years ago, she went through a life-changing experience. Something that will always be a part of her. I can say this not only because of the conversations we've had that have come from those last two years. But because I think God did something that night that no one else could. Now, I don't know if I'm going to say this correctly, but I know that that's okay.

That evening, God allowed for one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with (which I fully understand that there will be harder things in life). And yet, I thank Him for the opportunity it gave me to be there for my friend. I knew that I couldn't do much from where I was that evening, but God provided loving friends who took me to her. I knew that I didn't have the best words for calming her nerves, so God just had me hold her hand and wait. I knew that I couldn't drive her, so God reminded me to call my papa and we'd be on our way. I knew I didn't know what to say in that car ride, so God gave me things to talk about, laugh about, and be honest about. I knew that I didn't know what to do when she arrived home, but God gave me the footsteps to follow. I knew that I didn't know the words to comfort her sorrow, but God gave me the peace and willingness to wait and just BE there.

Almost two years ago today, my friend lost her AMAZING brother. I know that God provided our friendship to withstand so much by believing and trusting in Him. I only hope and pray that I can continue to be a rock for her. She is amazing. She has grown stronger in the Lord than so many and it's outstanding to see her fight to keep God her passion in life. And I know that there are times when things are tougher for her. I hope she knows that there are some of us who consider her a strong woman of God, pray for her continually, and are always waiting to be still for her in God's presence. I love you!!



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Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is Yours

My whole life
I place in Your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In Your presence at Your throne

I called, You answered
And You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high