Writings on the Wall

For some time now, I've been contemplating leaving.
If you know me well enough, you know that in my mind, that can encompass many things and many places. Tonight, it's been running and running in all directions and suddenly, a brick wall slammed in front of me. And when I turned, there was another. I looked everyway I could, and nothing but brick. I had no choice but to read the writing on the walls.

You see, when I think leaving-- I don't even stop to think of where to-- my mind starts to equate "leaving" with "running away".
So what am I running away from?? Who knows.
And where am I going when I am running away?? Nothing.
Where does all of this get me up? Nowhere.
So what's the point?? No idea.

That's when I saw the brick.
Brick in front, in back, side to side, below my feet, and above my head.
I had mortared myself a room that was for me alone.
No room for anyone else.
Why on earth would I desire and long for companionship and yet create a place that only I fit into??
No room for God.
Just selfish me.
So, before I can let anyone be a part of it.
I have to tear down what I've built, replace the brick with God, let Him be my world.

Then I know where I can leave to.
To Him.
To His plans.
His purpose.
His love that I'm terrified to let in and let overcome me.

How funny that I would put up brick in my minds eye.... brick isn't common for me. There really isn't much of it in my life. Somewhere in my life, I was taught that brick would be a stronger wall than cardboard or straw. I just have to remind myself that God is stronger than all those things combined.

"Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me...
...Your love is
Strong"

Thank you for reminding me, Spazzy.